Beauty of Fear-Trailer

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Under the Gun!!! NANOWRIMO + ROW80

I know, I know…I'm also participating in the ROW80 challenge but I need an extra push to finish this thing.  I'm hoping you all can help keep me accountable.

For those of you have have waited a long time to be able to tell me what to do or not do, here's your chance.   Don't let me slack off.

GOAL: Completion of this manuscript by November 30th.  No more excuses, no more procrastinating, no more bull…

Fanfiction updates may be sporadic this month but there will be updates...

Writing will be done daily and you can follow my progress on NANOWRIMO if you are so inclined...

National Novel Writing Month  My name there is Honorcpt

If you are inclined to try this yourself I would recommend that you click on the site and sign yourself up!  It's a great experience that you won't regret.

As for me…I'm still writing but like I said I set a goal for myself but am easily distracted, hence NANOWRIMO

So, here we go and oh by the way, Happy Halloween!


Sunday, October 21, 2012

Ghoulish Check in...

Sunday check in…yes, yes…  So yesterday after work I decided I would finally finish up some gardening and dig a hole to plant our new mango tree.  Its a rather good sized backyard and my love chose one spot in particular for me to plant it.  Its been there a week waiting for me to dig that hole, so finally, I did.

Now, a little background, this is my brother-in-law's house and he has kept it up beautifully, to include the yard.  Using a walking mower it took over two hours to get the front and back done. (No not rich, it's Florida-he bought good house with good land)  Anyway he warned of us one thing besides snakes.  His old dog Tati was buried in the back yard along the fence in a plastic bag.

Get it now?  1 + 1 = I am a Ghoul…

I dug a beautiful hole with a post hole digger and came across an obstruction.  Kept trying to get around it but nothing.  So instead I dropped the bucket with the tree in the hole just to make sure it was the right width and depth and Poof!  Face full of dirt from the hole.  No problem here, I was going to shower when done.   I pulled the pot out and proceeded to kneel down and feel around for the obstruction when I found…you guessed it…the plastic bag.

Now I consider myself to be tough…well that is all bull poop.  Thankfully I was wearing gloves but I sounded like a crazy person, pulling off the gloves and talking to myself as I walked away from the hole and marched myself in to tell my love.  I was regretting opting for gardening as opposed to writing that's for sure.

Speaking to my love later, she said I was positively manic and freaked out.  That's her story to tell.  Me?  I filled in the damned hole, made damned sure there was now a marker for the poor animal and quit gardening for the day.  I was not allowed to touch the furniture or anyone until I showered and disposed of my ghoulish clothes.

So…yesterday?  Uhm…no writing…nope, nada, zip…Since Wednesday though, yes!  I've been stuck in a particularly difficult point in the story and have finally muddled my way through.  Today may be a planned day off though I do tend to write a lot in the evenings.  I need to go dig in the yard but I just can't see myself doing that just yet.  

Ciao for now!

The Ghoul...

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

What a Wonderful Wednesday!!! ROW80 Check in time!

Plodding along on this lovely Wednesday morn...My goals remain...I will publish this b**** before the end of the year.  Any questions?

Actually I have some, for you all.  My mind tend to go everywhere when I write and I often skip from one chapter/thought to another.  This is good and bad.  Anyway, I have managed to send some of  my stuff out to some beta readers to bloody up my work as it were and I am so happy I did.  I didn't realize how repetitive I was in some places.  Being aware of it now, I am overall more aware of it for the entire manuscript which is wonderful!  Makes me think it through, say it aloud, make sure it flows.

So with some of the recommendations I've been given (Thank you betas), my prologue/intro chapter has changed a bit...the feel of it has at least.  On this blog under the Books-soon tab ( have the original prologue.  I compared it to the new one and found myself enjoying it more.  I just wonder if its just me...

So now that I've rambled on enough my question to you all is this...Would you be willing to read the original prologue and compare it to the new?

Or, would you at least be willling to read the new prologue and provide a bit of feedback?  Here it is:

Awareness came slowly, harshly, as the salty taste of her tears invaded her senses. She could feel wetness on her arm from the blood that dripped steadily from a deep cut on her shoulder. She tried to clear her head by moving it side to side only to have the world tilt around her. She wasn't sure where she was, or even how much time had passed since she had been taken. A whimper escaped her at the thought. The only thing she could be sure of was who she was, Marie. She tasted the tears mixing with the grime caked on her face and felt an overwhelming thirst. She couldn't remember having a drink of anything since before he grabbed her. Listening for any sound of movement she hesitated before trying to move further, fear controlling her heart and soul. Silence...she knew that at least for now, she was alone.
Her body ached terribly, and when she did move her senses were assaulted by the smell of him. She could still smell him on her, on her clothes making her wonder just how much time had passed. The smell of his sweet cologne and stale body odor had made her gag when she had struggled against him. God knows she had fought him, but physically and mentally she was exhausted. Pulling at her restraints she knew for certain that at one point she had even managed to kick him where she knew it
should have hurt. He had taken her by force, refusing to let her go no matter how hard she fought. After taking what he wanted, he had walked away briefly before viciously paying her back for kicking him. His response had been brutal and unforgiving.
The first blow had knocked her head into the ground stunning her. The kick to her side had enveloped her in a wave of pain that crashed again and again like breakers on the shore, hitting her ribs as he continued to strike at her. As her consciousness had begun to fade, the beating had become almost
bearable, until there had been nothing but the invitation of darkness. Now, waking, with her legs and hands duct-taped together, she could barely move and her breath came in shallow gasps as the damage to her ribs threatened to rob what littleair she had left. The gag in her mouth was suffocating and uncomfortable but seemed to have been placed as an afterthought, her tongue easily pushing it out. Marie knew in her heart she wouldn't be suffering for very much longer.

Bucking and fighting violently against the restraints, Marie fought to live with renewed strength trying desperately to avoid the blade that she knew was meant to end her life.

Marie felt the first slice on her right arm. A white hot fire spread down her shoulder as the blood now flowing freely mingled with the blood from an earlier cut. She screamed at him as she fought to get away but no one heard her, no one came. Her mind filled with thoughts of her parents and little sister
and how she wished she could have said goodbye. Instead her last memory of them was of a brief dinner before she went out to a party, a party she never made it to. A party she wished she had never left home to go to. With each slice of the blade, Marie felt herself slowing. Her breath came in shallow gasping breaths, and with a whispered "why?" she felt her limbs grow heavy until at last there was no pain, no feeling, only a deep peace and eternal darkness.

With a satisfied grunt he wiped the sweat beading on his forehead with his sleeve, and cut the tape from around her wrists with his knife before carefully positioning her arms.

"Stupid bitch had put up a fight."
He hadn't realized how much of a fight until he had placed her body in the trunk of his car. Now, after pulling her from the trunk of his car and walking the short way into the woods where he planned to leave her body to be found, he was not happyto find himself out of breath.
Pulling a rosary out of his pocket, he put it in her right hand, and gazed lovingly down at her. She really was a beautiful girl, even now. He wiped the blade of the knife on his pants leg and licked it clean before putting it away in the special holster he had made for it. He took care of what belonged to him, always. Sadly, he looked at the swelling on her face and the bruises on her naked body, wishing she hadn't fought him so hard. It would have been easier, for both of them. He finished positioning her and reached for his final accessory, an invitation of sorts, which he put in her left hand.

Stepping back to admire his work, he couldn't help but smile, what he had started here could have only one end. It was up to him to make it happen, no one else, and until he could make her his, he would find his release in other ways, as he had with the beautiful Marie. The pose he had placed her in was reminiscent of a scene he had acted out once before with his love, an act he wanted to repeat. Looking at the rosary, he wondered if she would remember the meaning it had for them or
why he had used this particular color rosary. It had been a long time though maybe she had forgotten him.
"No!" the anger that welled up inside of him at the thought overwhelmed his calm at what he had accomplished.
Taking a deep breath he was determined that she would remember. She would remember him, as he had never forgotten her. The years, the distance, the love, they were all real and it was up to him to insure that love, his love won out over everything else.
Smiling at the card he had placed in Marie's other hand, he knew the fear that finding it would invoke, as well as the curiosity it would create, and he relished the power he was feeling as he was walked away from such a wonderful encounter.
The card said it all, it was an invitation that she was sure to accept. Being who she was, she could do nothing less.
He brushed himself off and nonchalantly walked away from his work. Whistling to himself, he figured Marie would be found within a day or two and then she would be told of the "invitation" he had left for her. Chuckling to himself he could feel his core warming at the thought of possessing her. She would be his again, one way or another.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Sunday Check in…The fire is lit!

So, I've finally been able to rewrite the first three chapters of my manuscript.  I'm sure I'll never be 100% happy with it but I find it greatly improved.  But the thing is, who am I?  I'm not my reader am I?

I was told a while ago that I needed to add a little Honorcpt (my fanfic writing persona) to my work.  I thought I understood, but I didn't.  Somehow though, since last Sunday I've figured it out.  Anyway, I sent it to one of my betas for their opinion.  I asked them to be brutally honest and the response was that it was like a fire was lit under Honorcpt's ass.  I have to say that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my writing. What got me was that they felt what my character felt and that's what was missing.

Emotion.  A reader needs to be vested in the character and the story.  As a reader, I want to care about what happens next.  As I writer it's my job to make you care.  I think…no dammit I know that I've figured it out.   

I am adding descriptors, expanding on dialogue and just generally trying to make it a more enjoyable read.  It's flowing…Knowing that I'm participating in ROW80, helps…a lot…so thank you for the opportunity to participate.  And now…back to work!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

ROW80-Check in…OMG! OMG!

Blood Moon puts me in the mood...
Gardening/Yard work must be the key for me to get ideas flowing.  I have been very unhappy with the  first three of my manuscript for awhile now.   They just didn't flow like the rest of the story and it was making me….well dammit it was making me nuts!

It felt very pedestrian.  I know, I know we are our own worst critics but it was truly irking me.  Feedback I had received had been to add a little bit of my Fanfic persona-Honorcpt, into my writing.  I think I was scared to do that.

Anyway, the yard work.  I was weeding and edging the yard and suddenly put the items down and walked into the house to my computer.  I had moved on from the beginning chapters to let them settle in my mind… Nope, pulled them up (I love Scrivener) and just started changing things.  I realized somewhere that I was scared to just delete somethings and rewrite them..Dunno why.  Maybe I had fallen in love with the words that they felt permanent.  But they aren't!!!  They're fluid….

Now when you read those chapters you get a much better "feel" for my characters.  You give a damn (I hope).  Hell I do now…

So, my check in?  I'm on track!!  I'm writing, this puppy is getting done.  I would still like another beta to review my work,  I need a critical eye, but I do have three.  Okay, back to writing.  Got up and first thing was straight to the computer again.  The nut job in my novel is my focus right now.  Apparently according to some fanfic fans, I do lunatics well.  Gotta translate that into my story now.

Ciao for now!!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Checking in!!

Cage Fitness
So, my first check in…My goals are simple.  Finish and edit my manuscript during this round.  I manage a martial arts school right now and teach as well so when I'm tired, boy am I tired!  But, I am going through what I have and have actually been able to expand quite a bit.  I found myself reading through what I have and realized that I skip.  I skip scenes and don't elaborate enough for the reader, ugh!

So now I am finding myself expanding particular scenes and enjoying the hell out of it as I go.  What does this mean for ROW80?  

Wellllll…I am going to have to buckle down big time now aren't I?  I write mostly at night after work.  Unfortunately I'm tired and at times I re-read the next day and think, "what the hell was I trying to say?"  Doesn't matter though because I will get done what I want to get done.  I may be posting excerpts here for some real feedback from folks.  

Folks like you!  So please, help me out, encourage, push, cajole, get me of my A**…hmm  okay tirade over, check in done…back to writing.  By Sunday's check in I hope to have another 3000 words done.

No, wait, not hope, I WILL have another 300 words done at least.


Monday, October 1, 2012

Rizzles Fan Awards Results are in...

You all know that I love Rizzoli and Isles and love to write fanfic (I'm Honorcpt), so without further ado,

The winners are...

In the Best Author category,  the winners are Crackinosis and JoBeth.Amy.Homegirls. There are a lot of exceptional fanfic authors and I count my self humbled to be a runner up  There were a lot of nominees in that particular category, so thank you to all who voted and all who nominated!

As to the other categories I was nominated in:

Best Season 1 post finale-  Fear and All Its Beauty -Winner!

Best Season 2 post finale- Dear Maura - Winner!

Best Angst/Drama - Dear Maura - Winner!

Best Crossover (with Criminal Minds) - Random Targets - Winner!

I've included the links in case anyone would like to take look at them.  It feels wonderful to know that three of my stories received recognition from readers/fans.  I look forward to continuing with some of these as well as my original works in progress.  Maybe I'll introduce some of my characters in my Rizzles fics for a touch of flavor, who knows.

And now on to the ROW80 challenge!